Mental Health.

If it wasn't so sad, it would almost be funny.

I find it quite bizarre that this blog- that was deliberately began as a place to talk about nothing at all, really, has gained such a following. And has so many people who come here looking for information on mental health and mental illness, suicide, and depression.

I'd posted here, in my blogs early days, about living with depression, and the torture of postnatal (postpartum) depression in particular.

Then, In January 2011, my much loved husband suffered a violent psychosis and took his own life, by hanging, in front of me.

If you really want to read the whole story... strap in, and start with this post. Then just keep clicking 'Newer Post', riiiiiight down the bottom of the page, until things start to look normal again. It might take a while.

If that's too much effort- I totally get it, don't worry, most of those posts are tagged as either "This Is F*cked" or "The After". And then I've added 'Begin Again'.. because, eventually, I have to.

I wrote, in detail, and to much criticism, about the afternoon my husband hung himself, his time in the ICU, and the horrible balance between sane men and violent suicide that seems to float unseen and unspoken about.

If you want to know why I blogged all those things... I guess this post explains it best.

I blogged the speech I made at my husbands funeral. If you read nothing else here, please, read that.

And if you, like me, happen to suffer from debilitating, painful anxiety and panic attacks... please read this post. I wrote it for you.

Like this place, or hate it, I'm not really fussed. Take what you will from it, what's helpful and what's not. I'm certainly no expert, and I don't have all the answers. In fact, I don't have any of the answers. If I did, my husband might still be here.

But read, if you like. It's my truth, and I'm not ashamed of it, or afraid to share it. Take what I said, in my speech at Tony's funeral. Please. Read it, and take it to heart.

Us people, we talk so much about nothing. There is too much silence surrounding mental illness in the world.

You speak.

***

Immediate help for....

Australia can be found through LifeLine, on 13 11 14, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

New Zealand- Lifeline, on 0800 543 354, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
America- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

And in the UK, its the Samaritans- 08457 90 90 90